In a desperate attempt at making it onto WordPress’ Freshly Pressed list (Note: To The WordPress Big Boys: Please, this is serious, I want to be voted as Australia’s Best Blogger for 2012 so pick me, please!) and, before blogging goes out of fashion – this post is dedicated to the most freshly pressed thing known to mankind – and one of my personal favourite Freshly Pressed items
-Matzah- or unleavened bread.
This is the stuff that dreams (and constipation for 8 days straight) are made of.
In fact, my people have being baking the stuff since we fled with uncompromised haste:
Pharoah – and his bad boys
Plagues (which included revolting stuff like lice, perpetual darkness blanketing the country – the likes of which even Londoners have never even seen, blood baths worse than Rambo’s First Blood, and frogs and locusts all over the place in such epic proportions that would easily trump any dodgy nursery rhyme or cartoon) and
in search of greener pastures (or any pastures, for that matter) as well proper loaves of bread – low fat, multigrain, if possible;).
If all this sounds like Yiddish to you, then you have obviously never heard of Passover – the Festival of the Unleavened Bread – when the Angel of Death literally ‘passed over’ the Chosen People’s homes and saved my people from certain death.
It was a time of redemption from slavery (not to mention other revolting stuff like the 100,000 plagues and dead-set back-breaking work, way worse than working in big law firms nowadays).
It was a time of open miracles (like separating oceans – tsunami style, not Oceans Eleven style).
It was a time of resorting to baking bread with bare hands before the crack of dawn, in just over a little more time than it takes to cook 2-minute noodles in today’s times and just under a little more time than it takes to watch one of the rarer decent dishes being cooked in a Masterchef Australia episode from last season!
And so – because the Chosen People’s bread never had time to properly rise before they fled Egypt in the middle of the night, we still, to this day, remember, reflect and suffer:
the inate need to rush, panic and stress out so severly that we age prematurely and require much therapy
jetlag on red-eye intercontinental journeys and business trips
backed-up internal organs as a direct result of eating cardboard and boxed, imported non-perishable goods from Israel that are older than the Dead Sea Scrolls
All, to honour the memory of the redemption of our people way back when.
My house is far from being crumb-free (which is how a good Jewish wife’s house should be on the eve of Passover).
Not to mention, the dreaded 3 week Easter school holidays are already upon us, which means all I’ve achieved so far is a traffic-ridden trip to see The Lorax with my boys and absolutely no vacuuming to date.
I am also barely keeping up with the day-to-day cleaning as it is – all the while trying ever so hard to maintain my lawyerly ways and be a part of the little rat race I try to run on the side, and every so often also aspiring to make husband darling remotely happy on the odd occasion!
So, when Passover 2012 is finally upon us – all will be Freshly Pressed – just a TAD. And I’m not talking the boys’ Burberry business shirts or the matzah (vis-a vis unleavened bread, 2012 batch). No – I’m talking little ol’ me – the Real, Soon-To-Be-Kosher-For-Passover Housewife of Sydney.